COOL JOKES

  THE 18 YEAR OLD BOY
A drunk 18 year old boy asked a
married
woman out, the woman got
pissed &
told her husband..
The husband told her to invite the boy so
dat he can beat the hell out of
him.
The woman did what her
husband
requested as he was hidding under the bed...
When the boy got there, he
took off his t-
shirt and his body was full of
scars..this
made the woman to asked,"why have U so
many scars?"
The boy replied,"I my job is to
lay married
women & usually I get caught
so I kill the husbands, if someone shows up
now he
will be number 20 on my
murder list...The
boy continued, as
the woman tried to reach out her
husband under the bed, a small
voice
came up,"If U tell him am here,
U ll
see!!.. 

 Some simple truths
 

1. Gari has no advert but it sells
more than Indomie.
2. No matter how Nike sandals
sell, e no fit sell pass bathroom
slippers.
3. If u never stole meat from
your mom's soup, it means she
never cooked.
4. A girl who laughs at your dry
jokes during your 1st date
doesn't have transport fare back home.
5. "It's a small world" doesn't
mean u can walk from Nigeria to
Australia.
6. black girls can easily get away
with murder cause the police gonna find a hair at the crime
scene and track it back to a girl
in Brazil
7. If the alarm of a China phone
can't wake u up, forget! U are
dead!!!
8. Lean on me no mean say
press me make I die
9. If u don't believe that God
exists, that doesn't mean God
doesn't exist
10. Love they say is blind but the eyes of the players are usually
wide open
11. maturity they say comes with
age but age sometimes comes
alone
12. No gal is single...is either u snatched her from some1 or u
re sharing her with some 1...what matters most is being d
HIGHEST SHARE HOLDER           

  HEY

E get one particular restaurant
wey i dey chop 4 GRA,
E get one oyibo wey
dey always come chop there
too... Any tym dis oyibo chop finish he
go shout '' Hey'',so I
wonder wetin dey make am
shout, i decide to chop wetin d
oyibo dey always chop so maybe
me self go shout too..
when i reach d restaurant last wk friday, i order wetin d man
dey chop..
Dem tell me say na chicken &
red wine, so i
chop am,
but i no shout, i colet xtra plate,
but i stil no shout..
na then i just
vex ask 4 my bill. D waiter tell me
say one plate of chicken & red wine na N75,000 then d xtra
plate na another N75,000.... na then
i shout hey hey hey
hey,
I still dey shout till
now..

   JOB INTERVIEW

Officer: What is your name?
Matome : MP
Officer: Please tell me properly
Matome : Matome PHaahla
Officer: Who is your father?
Matome : MP sir. Officer: Meaning?
Matome : Mthembu PHaahla
Officer: Where do you live?
Matome : At MP sir
Officer: Mpumalanga
Matome: No, its Minna Port sir
Officer: What are your
qualifications?
Matome : I have MP sir Officer: (angrily) Talk
straighthere,
um not playing! What's that?
Matome : Matric Pass sir.
Officer: So why do you need a
job?
Matome: (sadly) MP sir Officer: Jerrrrrrr! Meaning?
Matome : Money Problem sir
Officer: I will get back to you
Matome : So how was MP sir?
Officer: And what's that again?
Matome : My Performance
Officer: It was MP
Matome : Meaning?
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
..
Officer: Mental Problem!!!!