FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
AKPOS IN A BUS
On a bus going from
Ibadan to Lagos, the
phone of a girl sitting
close to me rang she
picks it and said
"Honey, I'm in a bus going to Abuja for the
burial, I'll call you when
I get there".
Another girl's phone
rang, she said
"Sweetheart I'm on my way to Port-
Harcourt for the
Masters Degree Form,
pls send me Credit for
the trip."
Another one's phone rang, she said..."Alhaji,
sorry I'm on my way
to Owerri for the
interview, I'll call you
later."
Akpors who was sitting at the back of
the bus suddenly
raises his voice in
anger "Driver stop
please park! Park this
bus! Where exactly is this bus going to!!!?"
AKPOS AND THE TEACHER
Akpos was in the classroom
when his teacher gave a
class work that everybody in
class should draw a goat
eating grass. When they all
finished drawing they submitted
... their work for the teacher
to mark, while the teacher
was
marking Akpos' work, he
noticed that there was nothing on the
drawing book. So he called
Akpos to ask why he left the
drawing
book blank. Akpos replied
and said "Maybe the goat has finish
eating the grass and went
away.
JAMB
result is out.
Akpors: Daddy You
rememberJohn wey dey carryfirst for our
whole school? he failed...
Papa Akpors:that's terrible,what happened?
Akpors: You
also remember Paul wey dey teach me for
house? He failed too.
Papa Akpors: what's
causing the poor performance?
Akpors:Daddy I don't know, na so e be o. Even
Kelvin who won the Cowbell competition
failed too.
Papa Akpors: so how was your
own result?
Akpors: You also remember
OKON, our senior prefect? Hefailed.Papa
Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, Tell meabout your
own result!!
Akpors : (angrily) If all those
people failed, wetin You expect for my own
result?? I be witch?
ONE WORD FOR AKPOS??!!
AKPOS THE FACEBOOKER
AKPOS THE BOKO HARAM
AKPOS THE BOKO HARAM
AKPOS AND PAPA EMEKA
JOB INTERVIEW
INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of good. AKPOS: Bad. INTERVIEWER: Come. AKPOS: Go. INTERVIEWER: Ugly. AKPOS: Fine. INTERVIEWER: You are wrong! AKPOS: You are right! INTERVIEWER: Shut up! AKPOS: Keep talking! INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that. AKPOS: Ok now carry on all that. INTERVIEWER: Get out! AKPOS: Come in! INTERVIEWER: Oh my GOD. AKPOS: Oh my devil. INTERVIEWER: You are rejected. AKPOS: I'm selected.
INTERVIEWER: Tell me the opposite of good. AKPOS: Bad. INTERVIEWER: Come. AKPOS: Go. INTERVIEWER: Ugly. AKPOS: Fine. INTERVIEWER: You are wrong! AKPOS: You are right! INTERVIEWER: Shut up! AKPOS: Keep talking! INTERVIEWER: Ok now stop all that. AKPOS: Ok now carry on all that. INTERVIEWER: Get out! AKPOS: Come in! INTERVIEWER: Oh my GOD. AKPOS: Oh my devil. INTERVIEWER: You are rejected. AKPOS: I'm selected.
Akpos and the lecturer
Akpos, a Ghanian, just
got admission into one of the Nigerian
institutions. At the first
day of lecture, the
following conversation
erupted…..
The Lecturer said, “let’s
begin by reviewing
some Nigerian history.”
The Lecturer asked who
said, “I shall return to
die in the land of my
fathers?”
She saw a sea of blank
faces, except for
Akpos,who had his hand
up. Akpos replied: “King
Jaja of Opobo,
1875″”very good! ” said
lecturer.
Then, she asked again,
who said, “The land use
act will feed the
nation?” Again, no
response except from
Akpos:”Obasanjo ,
1976.”The Lecturer
snapped at the class;
“class, you should be
ashamed. Akpos, who is
new to our Country,
knows more about our
history than you do.”
The Lecturer heard a loud whisper:”Ghana must go”. “who said that?” shedemanded, Akpos put his hand up,”Buhari 1984.” At that point, a student at the back scornfully said;”Hmmm, you think you are smart?” The Lecturer glared and asked; “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Akpos said,”Babangida to Abiola,1992.” Hmmm, a Student at the back smilled “I dey laugh ooh” Akpos smiled back and said Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now furious, another student yelled;”Oh yeah! Eat this!” Akpos jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the Lecturer,”India n mistress giving anapple to Abacha, 1998″ Now, with almost mob hyseria, someone said; “You little poo.
If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Akpos frantically yelled at the top of his voice; “Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!” The Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said; “Oh poo, we’re in Big trouble now!” Akpos whispered; “Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007″ Someone angrily said; “Don't answer him, he is a fool” Akpos smiled nd replied; “Obansanjo to IBB, 2011″ Now, the Lecturer managed to get up and asked Akpos; pls, who’re you? Show your self.. Akpos jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to BOKO HARAM, 2012 lols
The Lecturer heard a loud whisper:”Ghana must go”. “who said that?” shedemanded, Akpos put his hand up,”Buhari 1984.” At that point, a student at the back scornfully said;”Hmmm, you think you are smart?” The Lecturer glared and asked; “All right! Now, who said that?” Again, Akpos said,”Babangida to Abiola,1992.” Hmmm, a Student at the back smilled “I dey laugh ooh” Akpos smiled back and said Obasanjo to Atiku 2001. Now furious, another student yelled;”Oh yeah! Eat this!” Akpos jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the Lecturer,”India n mistress giving anapple to Abacha, 1998″ Now, with almost mob hyseria, someone said; “You little poo.
If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.” Akpos frantically yelled at the top of his voice; “Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!” The Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said; “Oh poo, we’re in Big trouble now!” Akpos whispered; “Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007″ Someone angrily said; “Don't answer him, he is a fool” Akpos smiled nd replied; “Obansanjo to IBB, 2011″ Now, the Lecturer managed to get up and asked Akpos; pls, who’re you? Show your self.. Akpos jumped, yelled and said; Jonathan to BOKO HARAM, 2012 lols
That's My Chicken- Akpos And The Chicken
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the
food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says,
"Sir, I'm afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer
who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he
usually orders the same dish.
A LETTER FROM MAMA TOLU TO ENGLISH TEACHER|
Dear teaser, I am greet you but it is not with all
my heart that i have do it. But teaser why, this ya
act is very idiomatic expression. Why did you
give my pikin tolu 3 over 10 in English? I have
crossed check her work thoroughly&have see
that what she has write it dey very correct. So now, what make you givam this small mark? Ah
teaser, I am dey very dismantled in you, Don't
you know dat i teaser her english day by
night&she has know well well! So why the shamu
shamu mark? Okay, you're jealous her becos in
this her small age, she has know what you were'nt know when you were dey like this! Let me put paragraph.
Ehen, better delete&remark her paper as i dey
see you so oh or else if i come on the two of
december, the headmaster will hear it.
Yours vexation, Mama Tolu
my heart that i have do it. But teaser why, this ya
act is very idiomatic expression. Why did you
give my pikin tolu 3 over 10 in English? I have
crossed check her work thoroughly&have see
that what she has write it dey very correct. So now, what make you givam this small mark? Ah
teaser, I am dey very dismantled in you, Don't
you know dat i teaser her english day by
night&she has know well well! So why the shamu
shamu mark? Okay, you're jealous her becos in
this her small age, she has know what you were'nt know when you were dey like this! Let me put paragraph.
Ehen, better delete&remark her paper as i dey
see you so oh or else if i come on the two of
december, the headmaster will hear it.
Yours vexation, Mama Tolu
Akpos and the two men
Akpos was being chase by
two men for one of his
Numerous Chrime.
On d spot Akpos ran into
the forest and the men
followed him.
Akpos got into d forest and
climbed the a tree, The
Two men got to the tree
where Akpos was and did
not knw where he ran to.
Angrily one of the men
retorted 'This boy has
escaped again'
His colleague replied 'I
know him if i call his Name
3 times, he wil ansa me!
On hearing this Akpos burst
laugh from the tree and
said to the men:
Hahahah if you like call my
name from now till next
year, i will not ansa you, do
u think am the akpos of
last year?
two men for one of his
Numerous Chrime.
On d spot Akpos ran into
the forest and the men
followed him.
Akpos got into d forest and
climbed the a tree, The
Two men got to the tree
where Akpos was and did
not knw where he ran to.
Angrily one of the men
retorted 'This boy has
escaped again'
His colleague replied 'I
know him if i call his Name
3 times, he wil ansa me!
On hearing this Akpos burst
laugh from the tree and
said to the men:
Hahahah if you like call my
name from now till next
year, i will not ansa you, do
u think am the akpos of
last year?
Akpos and papa
AKPOS: Papa when I go HEAVEN,
I go ask Mama
why she Died so Soon..
PAPA: What if she dey HELL?..
AKPOS: Na u go ask her be that....... Good
I go ask Mama
why she Died so Soon..
PAPA: What if she dey HELL?..
AKPOS: Na u go ask her be that....... Good
Akpos in class room
At school, Akpos was told by a
classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret,
and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know
the whole truth" even when you
don't know anything.
Akpos decides to go home and try
it out. As he is greeted by his
mother at the front door he says,
"I know the whole truth." His
mother quickly hands him #500
and says, "Just don't tell your
father." Quite pleased, akpos
waits for his father to get home
from work, and greets him with,
"I know the whole truth." The
father promptly hands him #1000
and says, "Please don't say a word
to your mother." Very pleased,
akpos is on his way to school the
next day, when he sees the
mailman at his front door. Akpos
greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman drops
the mail, opens his arms and says,
"Then come give your FATHER a
big hug!"
classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret,
and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know
the whole truth" even when you
don't know anything.
Akpos decides to go home and try
it out. As he is greeted by his
mother at the front door he says,
"I know the whole truth." His
mother quickly hands him #500
and says, "Just don't tell your
father." Quite pleased, akpos
waits for his father to get home
from work, and greets him with,
"I know the whole truth." The
father promptly hands him #1000
and says, "Please don't say a word
to your mother." Very pleased,
akpos is on his way to school the
next day, when he sees the
mailman at his front door. Akpos
greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman drops
the mail, opens his arms and says,
"Then come give your FATHER a
big hug!"